Tag Archives: life

Wednesday, Feb. 14th ’24

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Yes I know it’s Valentines day – It’s also Ash Wednesday – neither of these are doing much for me today.  What is doing it, is the fact that I’m not in the office – I’m working from home!  Yes I know I work from home Thurs/Fri/Mon but this is a nice change.  Recently, I’ve been feeling clouds gathering over me, so I’ve decided to reason it out online.  I used to write in LiveJournal a lot, then one day somebody asked me why I’m always depressing, and that just stifled me completely.  I don’t think we ever really understand how powerful our words are – she felt that what I was sharing was depressing and her question stopped me from opening up (to random strangers on the internet).

Anyway – today was a good day – I went to the shopping centre.  I know that’s not a biggy, but recently the idea of having to go out, drive to the shopping centre, deal with people and drive home – taking that time out of my day / sitting on the sofa or just generally time wasting, has been a big ordeal.  I actually think it started during covid.  At the time, I’d feel a sense of victory that I’d done it because there was  this sense of being overwhelmed by it.  That overwhelmed feeling just never left, and it has morphed into not wanting to change my routine and having to do so also makes me overwhelmed.

HOWEVER, I needed to get a birthday present for my Mam and to get a card for her, so I just did it.  I went to the Chemist Warehouse and while I was there, I picked up some hand cream for me (I’m a demon for buying hand cream – Atrixo this time), but I also picked up Kalms, to see if they will do me any good.  I know I tried them before, but I don’t have any recollection as to how affective they were.  I’m the kind of person who will question, did the anxiety subside because it ran its course or was it because of the tablets?  If it gives it a bit of giddy-up to move on though I’ll be happy.

The entertaining part is that I have to do it all again tomorrow – working from home and then going to the Shopping Centre – YET AGAIN – only this time to have a wander about with my Mam.  This is actually unheard of, so it will be interesting to see how I get on and how we get on….

And So That Was Christmas

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Well this years one was a quiet one, but still a lovely one. I love the lights at this time of year. In fairness I do keep some of the lights up throughout the year but when you add some colourful tinsel it brings it to a new level

Along with a bit of telly there was also a modicum of eating

I must confess that fondness for mince pies and Christmas pudding.

The plate is part of a set from ShannonBridge Pottery – they really do have some lovely stuff!

Anyway – I’m going off to find the last of the food as we ring out the old year – I hope you all have a good one!

Thursday, May 18th

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This morning was simply lovely, and it was all courtesy of yesterday.  I took a cup of coffee out into the garden, sat on the seat, listened to the noises and enjoyed the slightly cold fresh air.  It was only for about 10 minutes before I started work but it really did set me up for the day ahead.

Yesterday I achieved things, nothing earth shatteringly wonderful but a day full of little wins.  I was working from home so that bought me the time I needed to get things done.

During my morning tea break, I didn’t sit down and scroll through the various social media, accompanied by my tea and toast, instead I washed two cushions from my sofa (part of which needs to be finished today).  These two cushions along with the floor mat from my hallway (also washed) were put out in the garden to dry.  I took the cushions in when I went for my walk at lunchtime.  The weather here in Ireland can’t be predicted and I don’t think the world needs to see me running full pelt to get home to rescue the cushions.  The mat I wasn’t too concerned about.

After work is where the real joy kicked in!  My stamina, which was never great, was at an all time low after I got covid, and along with a few weeks of miserable weather, I hadn’t been doing my after work walk.  However, this week I started back and it’s been lovely!  I really did miss it.  Anyway, I digress!  I had half a notion of going with the No Mow May – but as my garden is mainly dandelions it was looking beyond disgraceful.  It also meant that on the fine mornings/evenings I was less likely to sit outside.  So that was it – the garden was getting a cut – so at least it could look green.  A quick look at the weather app said it was going to be wet tomorrow (today, and that has now changed!) so that meant cut it today as we’ve had several fine days and it would be ok to get it cut.  I went for my walk – a slightly edited version of it, came back cooked the sauce for my pasta, as I didn’t fancy chopping and cooking after doing the garden, and once that was all cooked, out I went.  I moved the seat, gave it a bit of a wash and then started on the “grass”.

I do love the garden when it all looks neat.  It makes me want to garden and one day I will try my hand at it – make it all pretty but for now I will settle for neat(ish).  After the garden was done, I went back in to put on the pasta and tucked into my dinner.  By now it was just after 7pm, so I took my cuppa, my earphones and a cushion for the cat and sat out on the seat.  She is old and deaf so didn’t notice the amount of birds coming into the garden, ridding me of my slugs, she popped her head up every once in a while but just settle back down to her snooze.  In the meantime I listened to an adaptation of The Night Watch by Terry Pratchett that was on BBC4xtra.  I was such a lovely way to relax and unwind after a busy evening.

Sitting out in the garden is so peaceful but sometimes it takes a little bit of effort to do it.  I think it is something that I will have to keep up, except maybe if it’s raining☔️

 

H. x

Friday, Sept. 30th – A Rainy Day

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The photo above was taken while I was having my morning coffee.  I’d normally have the radio on but this morning I listened to the rain and watched it trickling down the windows.

There really is something to love about rainy days –  particularly if you don’t have to go out – everything you do takes on that cosy feeling because you know that you are protected from the weather outside – whether it’s watching telly, reading, listening to music, cooking or doing housework – you have to put on some sort of light and it helps to build that cocooned feeling.

I on the other hand have to go out – I had planned to get off the bus early and walk to my appointment and now I’m in between two minds.  I will probably still take the walk – because almost like snow – rain empties the streets and those that are out in it are either going to be running to get out of it or they are going to be like me and get a childish enjoyment from walking in puddles, listening to how the rain changes the noises on the street.  I think I will let my timing dictate if I take my walk or not.

Saturday, August 6th

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Yesterday was an anniversary of a random moment in time- the evening was a little bit emotionally bumpy and that’s probably why I didn’t have the best night’s sleep. Well that and the strange dreams- I don’t like dreaming, it leaves me feeling tired.  Anyway! The point of all of this preamble is, this morning I was lying in bed planning on a quiet day consisting of walking and crochet.  However that’s not to be! Mainly because I was forgetful yesterday.  Yesterday, I was to go out and buy 2 things at lunch. Lunchtime came, I ate my food (actually photographed some of it first), read a little and went back to work.  I only remembered the shopping an hour later!  So today I have to face the joy that is a shopping centre at the weekend.

As I write this, myself and the cat are sitting on the bed, I’ve just finished breakfast, I’ve put my book down so I can type but there is a cup of coffee on the bedside locker and my phone is playing a jazz playlist from Spotify.  I think tomorrow will see a repeat of this but I will have that relaxing day I had planned for today.

H. x

Daily Prompt: What would you do more of every day?

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Kiss Misha

Always make time for a kiss, those few seconds of intimacy, even if you are not feeling it, they matter.  There is always that notion of you’d never know, you might get hit by a bus.  Well I would like to think that the last thing we did was kiss.  A kiss is a way of binding each other, it is a way of saying you matter to me.  

In my marriage we stopped kissing and simply became friends.  It was because of that, that I asked Misha to always kiss me, never stop kissing me.  It’s a small fleeting act of intimacy.  

Sadly there are no more physical kisses and no more holding hands but I still put a kiss on my figure and put that kiss on his photo by my bed.  I would love to give him more kisses but the world is a cruel place so all I have are the memories of those fleeting moments, moments when we would take that chance to kiss, to receive a kiss on the top of my head while my head was on his shoulder – this meant the world – this meant I love you and I want to eat you up but all I can do to express it is give a kiss to your head.

So kiss the ones you love, it doesn’t have to be bigger than a peck – but that one gesture – it’s something we should all do more of and I only wish I could give him more.

Sunday December 12th

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It’s been a bit quiet – life seems to pass by – you wake up, you get on with your day and then you go to bed.  Nothing exciting has been happening but I have been getting ready for Christmas.  This will be my second one on my own.   It’s still a bit strange and I am very undecided as to whether I like it or not.  Whilst I’m a solitary creature at heart and will happily entertain myself but at the same time I miss the company – I miss the conversation.  I know I could go to my parents but I also like to be in control of my environment – especially for Christmas.

I keep a journal on an app.  There is usually a daily prompt but I tend to ignore it because I’m too busy pouring out my mindless ramblings.  However today I decided to use it as a guide for those mindless ramblings – It was about sleep – and that is something that’s been a slight problem for me in the last while – ever since the catastrophe.  I think I might post it tomorrow.

I’ve been on annual leave for the last week and to be honest – while I’ve gotten a few things done that I needed to, it really wasn’t the week I’d hoped for.  Between having to have a cat put down due to accidental glycol poisoning (not me) and going to the funeral of a cousin who died much too young, then taking the remaining cat to the vet because she has a cold (or allergy).  Unfortunately for me she was lovely and quiet and sedate when she wasn’t well but now she’s on steroids and she’s hyper-clingy.  So tomorrow I’m back in work (luckily I’m still working from home) but it will be interesting to see how the cat gets on when she can’t be sitting on my lap. I have to admit that I’m not looking forward to it.

I think I will leave it here and yet again hope to post more often 😂

H. x

Friday October 1st

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Well I’m going to try and do a photo challenge – there’s two that I have my eye on so it will be a bit of mix and match.  Todays prompt was Coffee – well that’s easy enough – I go through a bit of it.  

Thursday, September 23rd

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I’ve been away – literally. However despite the anticipation it wasn’t what I expected at all. I know sometimes anticipation can lead to high expectations but as I didn’t get to do anything that had been vaguely planned it really wasn’t what I expected. This makes it a little embarrassing when people ask what did I do on my holiday, so I just skim through some of it and they are happy that they showed interest. But it was still an adventure of sorts so that’s a good thing. I think that the idea that no experience is wasted is true, whether it’s good, bad or indifferent.

When I was away, I was very grateful that I had replaced my Kindle. I know that I can be a slow reader, a prime example being that it took me three weeks to finish a book I started just before we came home. So again with the expectations, I only expected to finish the book I had started and read maybe one more. I read six! 2 Montalbano books and 4 Martin Beck. I also indulged in 3 Audio books – 2 M.C. Beaton & 1 John Le Carré. The LeCarré was A Small Town In Germany and I have to admit I didn’t find it as compelling as the Smiley Books but Michael Jayston’s voice is always a pleasure to listen to so I made it through to the end.

Speaking of AudioBooks – when I came home I took out Life After Life by Kate Atkinson. I’d taken it out before and struggled. This time I got to about 4 hours into it and it still felt as if the story hadn’t started – I just couldn’t see what was supposed to be happening. The next day Richard Osman released his second book The Man Who Died Twice – when I saw it was available I took it out immediately – I wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice! The last time, I saw his book was available, I decided I would finish whatever it was I was listening to and then take it out – when i went back there was a waiting list that took me into the next year!! His writing in these two books have been absolutely lovely – the only way to describe them is delightful. There are times when he is so incisive with the human condition but it’s enveloped in a tenderness that you only notice and feel it when you’ve finished the paragraph – you’re left feeling wow! yes that’s exactly how I feel – that’s how it’s supposed to be expressed! It’s fair to say I spent the weekend sitting in the chair in the bedroom simply listening. There has been an Instagram account set up on foot of the story – but I would say listen to it and find it. I won’t post it here as the username is a source of juvenile entertainment that makes you groan and titter. I’ve decided to struggle on with the Kate Atkinson book because I really do like her writing and I’m now just over 8hrs into it with another 7hrs to go. It’s getting easier to listen to but I’m still not sure of the ultimate goal.  I don’t really want to say too much – mind you I’m not sure if I could give anything away –  ok – I know life is one endless realm of what ifs and attempting to do so in a book is a massive undertaking – but with endless possibilities, how does one come to a point where you write “The End”?   I’m a control freak, I like to have an idea of what direction a book is going to take – twists and turns are ok – but with this I just can’t …

Out of all of the above I would say read or listen to this:



So that you can read or listen to this:

H. x

Sunday, July 25th

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Last night I finished listening to the audio book “The Art of Making Memories” by Meik Wiking. I enjoyed it and as my heartache is beginning to subside – no not subside – I’m just getting more used to it – anyway, I’ve decided to blog a little bit more. Unfortunately it will just be random witterings for quiet a while until I hit my stride – but nothing really new there, is there? I am also going to try and post on Instagram more often.

Anyway! I’m typing this on the laptop, sitting in the stripey deckchair, it’s half past eight in the evening. I say evening because it’s still bright, if it was a few months later and darker out I’d probably have said eight at night… As I was saying I’m in the garden and because of the hour I’m sitting closer to the honeysuckle than to the lavender. Lavender is for during the day but the honeysuckle aroma comes into it’s own come the evening time. I had been reading. I got a new Kindle on Friday and I started a new book. Anyway this will probably be my last evening to sit out like this for a while. We’ve had outstanding weather for the last two weeks – Summer of ’21 will probably gain the notoriety of the Big Snow in ’81 (or at least for a few years anyway) The weather is due to change next week – normal services will be resumed – we’re back to our warm rain, cold rain weather.

So how was today? not too bad all in all. I’ve been doing cross-stitching. I want to make a biscornu and I have one side finished and I’m about 66% of the way through the other side. This isn’t too bad, except that I want to have it finished by next weekend. To add to my crafting pressures, yesterday I started to crochet a cover for my kindle – but I’m having difficulty with the number of stitches and it has been ripped back a few times to varying degrees. I don’t know if it’s the pattern or my ability to read it that’s the issue. I have a feeling that I might be better off starting from scratch…

I am loving the scent of the honeysuckle, it seems to come to me in waves and the bees have moved from the lavender in front of me to the honeysuckle behind me. The cats are still stretched out, I’d like to think it’s because I’m here but I know they’d be here even if I was inside watching the telly. I can hear it – snippets of it. I’ll go inside soon and turn on the radio, or maybe more of my new audio book.

Here’s my most recent offering on Insta.

H. x